you sad, soap-dispensing, human

After going out last night, I feel compelled to write. Now I have a small bladder to begin with, and when I start drinking, I pee more than I drink. When I go into the bathroom, there's always a guy in there with his colognes spread all over the counter. Also, right in the middle of the counter is a little tip dish. Am I wrong to think that people can soap their own hands? Am I wrong to feel that paying everytime I go to the washroom is a bad use of resources? I go in and out as fast as I f-ing can. Tipping at a restaurant to your server is different than tipping some guy to squeeze soap on your hand. No matter how drunk I am, I'm pretty sure I can squirt some soap. Damn you MF, let me squirt my soap!