burlap sack beatings

In tune with The Gateway's burlap sack section, I would like to do some of my own burlap beatings.

First, this goes out to MBNA Canada. I think your U of A card is ugly as fuck, but that's not the reason for my rage. It is to your telemarketers who called my house three times in one day. I think it was even the same guy all three times. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want your credit card? He was already signing me up when I said no, those fuckers have all your info already. I don't need your travel insurance, thanks. If your card was the shit, I would apply for it myself, goddamnit. Into the sack, I say!!

The second beating goes out to City of Edmonton street cleaning (or lack thereof). It's the end of April and the streets haven't been cleaned yet. Everytime I drive with my windows open, it's like a sandstorm (not of the Darude variety) in my car. The sand is also dangerous for the motorcyclists out there. When it snows, does it take a month before the plows come out? Let's clean the streets up. I'm going to throw some sand into the sack with you so that it gets into your underwear, get in the sack you dirtbag.